stagnant for now

Salam everyone,

It's weird how we, Malaysians, are getting close to May 5th that we suddenly become an expert in politics, legal matters, our constitution..but this is not one of those post. I let all those so called "professionals" do all the talking.

So, today I've had this conversation with Seri. I've told her how my life has been stagnant and stuck at one place for more than a year now. What do I mean by this? Well, in our life, we've gone through different phases, first the kindergarten, to high school to university. So we've been constantly moving.

However, recently I've notice that I've been doing the same thing for the past 1 year. And I am getting bored of this. 

I tell her that I need something in my life today. Something new, and I think I may need a girlfriend, a steady one..not those one time fling. But I know it's not gonna be easy. I'm shy, I admit that..but that's not a problem I can't fix. My problem is that I am probably the most fussy people I've know out there.

In all my phases in life, I've only ever like one person for that period of time. There was Puteri during High School, Nabila during boarding school, Shida during matriculation, Seri during university, and now, Liza during my work life.

I've like all this gorgeous and amazing woman not by effort, but by fate. When I first saw Liza, she was wearing a red baju kurung, with over the top make up. Looking weird because all of us were wearing jeans. When I first met Seri, she was wearing a low cut jeans, black shirt and red highlight hair (that caught my attention). Don't get me started when I first met Shida...

So you see, when my heart is set for someone, it is not easy to just let go. Yes, I know I should move on from something that is probably never gonna happen, but I can't unless another one come in. I've tried giving my best to try to like someone, but it is just not happening for me. I think I'm weird.

The reason I'm writing this is because I felt like it. People keep telling me to move on, even Liza said she wants me to find another. I've prayed and prayed, for that one person to come in my life. People want me to start looking, but I can't.

I hope that I meet the love of my life, and if I don't have one, then I hope, my life was worth it.

Adios.