February 9, 2009

layback or just lucky?

everyone has their ups and downs right?

i dont even know why i wrote this this late in the night..im suppose to be sleeping now..

well the truth is i dont feel good this past few days..macam nak demam..tapi tak demam demam..could it be something else?food poisoning?PMS?hahahaha

no..i think it has got to do with something i rather not talk about here..

its been a while since i wrote something relating to my feelings here huh?well..thats because people dont care much though..unless of course you are so into the person that you MUST know everything about him/her..kinda what im doin sometimes..hehehe

ok..by now everyone are bored about my drama right?im trying to tow down a lil about all this..im sorry if i make you guys obnoxious or puke in ur guts about anything that i do or said..im just a normal human being after all..

im sure some if not all of you must have said or did something that people dont like..kan?but its learning from the past that make us a better person in the future(macam pernah dengar ayat ni)

there are a lot of thing i miss in my life that im starting to catch up..i dont want to be tied up to my old life forever..life must go on..and for the first time..im SCARE

i have always had this attitude of layback all the time..believing that life will flows gracefully with you..and you dont need to tense yourself up for no certain future..

but now..im actually afraid..Ayol always said that im lucky..am I?

let see..PMR 8A..SPM 4A,but got into PASUM...PASUM?got 3.55 CGPA,before a horrible 1st sem..for 3 years in UM?not too bad..a PETRONAS scholars..a great family..a great friends..a good reader for my thesis..hmm..guess i am lucky..

but why do i feel afraid now?i have always see myself in 10 years as a simple guy..with great companions and great life..but is it possible now?

hmm..sorry for the inconvenience posting this time..but i just need to let go..

i feel like..im losing a lot of supports lately..maybe because..i act like i dont need them..but i know a person can never live alone..no matter how MACHO u act..u need someone to talk to..

maybe a good night sleep could heal something..and in the morning..i still have my obligation as a "loving" brother to those twins..hehehe

p/s:im disabling comment on this post since i don't want any of your comments..i just need some time to think through..thank you