where is she?

im missing someone really badly now..

i dont know how to get to her..i cant msg her..i cant call her..i cant even see her..

and i dont even know if she's missing me rite now...

i miss her..i miss my bestfren..

whom i can talk witout ever to put my mask on...

talk wit sincerity..

where is she now?

i hope she's reading this..and i just want to tell her..that i miss her rite now..

time to feel sexy..or hot..or maybe in between...

i dun know what to write today..ive got 5 tests next week..so better study now..but i let myself have sometime first..

last tuesday while i was in LRT to go to class,there's this 1 girl..well more like a lady..she was like soo beautiful...wearing a nice pink baju kurung and was ready to go to work..

as usual the LRT was packed..so i had a nice time standing rite next to her..and if you guys know the situation being in there,there is no place to move..so we have to touch each other rite?and well..i touch her..some place..and she was like malu2..hehehe..wat to do?it was unintentional..

well..that was that..just as soon she was out of the LRT..another girl kept looking at me..i thought my zip was like unzip..but nothing wrong wit me..everything was fine..and this girl was ok...not bad for me la..

the best part was,she kept looking and smiling...and i think i blush a bit..wakakaka..well that was my magical 1 day moment..hahahahaha..

okla...need to study..raya's getting near..but tests are getting tougher..damn!

later..

p/s:sape baca ni make sure sediakan duit raya minimum rm50 ok?

nice guy..or plain stupid?

i have a secret..no one really know this..except for some really close frens..not even my parents know about this..

when i was in high school..i was a good student..not love by a lot of my frens though..because i was like a mole among them..hehehe..but that wasnt entirely true..

this is the true version..

when i was in form 4 i was studying in a new boarding school..you know how boarding school life is..the most important rules i break was bringin a cell phone to the school..which is in fact a really big thing...

but so does all my frens..most of them bring their own cell phone to talk to their parents and their frens out there..coz my school is about 5 km away from any civilization...that scary!

my teacher..whom also a HEP teacher usually trust me about stuffs that been happening around dorm..because i gave him a good info,well most of the info is not any useful at all..hehehe,but he trust me..

and i did not stab any of my friends from behind..i know how precious frenship is...even if he asked or threaten me..i would just deny everything..but then..something happen..

it all started when someone started to lost cell phone and then the story when to the teachers..and everything that i protect started to fall apart..if that wasnt not bad enough..a fren of mine was threaten by the teacher about his love affair wit a girl to his parent,if he cooperate,his parent wont know about it..and this is kinda sucks..a teacher threaten a student?damn!

so i had to do something..i turn myself in..i confronted the teacher and told him everything he need to know..as long as he dont ever threaten my fren again..

I HAVE TO TOLD HIM EVERYTHING

but at the same time..i want to protect all my frens..

but all of them get the wrong messages and i was blame..i dont care..i know what would happened in the end..

this is an example of you doin something good..but you ended up in dirt..

so this is my story..again..not everyone know about this..

this is..a nice guy..or just plain stupid..

not everything look beautiful

a fren of mine once told me that in life,there's always choices...and often the choices we made is not the best one..but it always is the right one...

i have a lot of secrets in life..and i always keep it to myself...im different from when i was 3 or 4 years ago,when im a happy guy..dun really care much about the things happening all around me..

but then..things change..i got to know the bad side of human..

and i realize that not everything in this world is beautiful..world can be really cruel to us sometimes..thats why we have someone to hold on too..someone to keep our head above the water...

but lately..i dun have this kind of strength anymore..i dun have someone to hold me..feels like im the one that supporting them..and when i need them the most..they when away..

i dun have any trully best frens..i guess this is wat they call the curse of being too frenly..u have a lot of frens..but you tend to forget the previous frens..and your frens tend to forget you..

despite all of this..i can still smile..because people have label me that way..and if i start to look gloomy,they would sympathize me..i dun like this..i just they to understand that im not happy..and try to make me happy..but dun feel pity for me..

well...i know some of you might find this shocking..but most of you dun even care..because you are all human..just like me..

later then..

too many tests

dah nk dekat raya nie..tapi test berlambak!!!

makin bz la nie..sori ye kalo lambat update blog...kena la blaja kalo nk terus dpt scholarship dari petronas..hehehehe

later...

misinterpret

i wanna start with how people often..not always..but usually..misinterpret people's good intentions..

here are some examples...

1.i tell someone to change the way they dress..but that someone hit me back wit...'i wear what i love'..well..if u wearing wat u luv but in something u are not comfortable wit..better think again..
2.i tell someone to think about their future..and that someone said...u think i have a bad future dun u?what the hell?
3.i ask someone if i could give them a ride..and they said...'are u bragging because u have a big car?'
4.i help someone on something and they hit me back by saying..u are sooo useless...
5.i give some advices to someone,and they hit back at me by saying..'you dun noe a thing...'

hmm...do people always acted like this?or is it my fault?maybe it is my fault..i dont think i can keep it up anymore..

im drowning..something is suffocating me from inside out..i just need someone to talk to..

i dun think i can keep explaining everything i said,just to make them understand..watever

well..maybe this is God's way of testing me..

mlm merdeka..

just nk letak gambar sambutan mlm merdeka kat UM aritu..sori lambat post..kumpul gambar ngan bz..










basically..gambar kat atas ni sambutan merdeka kat UM..so korang interpret sendirik la kita orang tgh buat ape..hehehehe..later

stuffs that we blog

now..i would like to talk about some blogs that i read and i know..some of it come from my frens..while others i just browsing around...

now...my style of blogging is not like affan..he like to wrote a long post..i dun,i like to keep it short and simple..and ayol was rite when she said that in blogging...write something that u love..ayol like food..so no wonder in her blog,she have more posting of food than herself..hehehhe

and what do i like?well..i like girls,computers,and the all the infos i could lay my eye, but im not gonna write all of them,thats why i choose to write most of them..

but what is the true purpose of bloggin?well other people has other opinions..and for me,its just a place where i could express myself...with some critics and opinions on wat i wrote..but for some,it just fun and games,other write very seriously..

bloggin should also be done very carefully..u dont know who u would end up hurting..

theres also the bloggers that write about bad stuffs,either its bout an individual or about a group...this kind of blog should best be avoid..i know freedom of speech and freedom of critical thinking is good...as long as it doesnt inflict chaos and misery..

so this is my post for today..im writing this because i came to senses about what i wrote this past 2 months...and im thinking of stopping blogging occasionally..but..blogging has become part of my life..and for my frens out there that has just started blogging..write with all your heart..not ur brain..hehehe..

later then..daaa

do i have bipolar disorder?

what is bipolar dioreder you ask?well here a short definition by wikipedia..

Bipolar disorder, a mood disorder distinguished by cycles of depression and either mania or hypomania (once known as "manic-depression".)

bipolar disorder has 2 mood..mania and depression mood..both the mood has different symptoms..here are the symptoms..

• Signs of mania
  • Increased activity and gestures (pacing, tapping feet)
  • Inflated self-esteem
  • Poor judgment
  • Racing thoughts
  • Decreased need for sleep
  • Poor temper control
  • Irritability
  • Pressured speech: The person speaks very fast, as if his or her mouth can't keep up with the rapid thoughts. The person may be unable to respond to social cues to stop talking.
  • Increased activities with high risk of painful consequences (sexual affairs, gambling, risky investments)
  • Psychotic symptoms
    • Delusions (false beliefs)
    • Hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren't real)

• Signs of depression
  • Excessive worry
  • Excessive guilt
  • Sadness, crying spells
  • Loss of energy
  • Change in sleep pattern (insomnia at night, daytime sleepiness)
  • Major changes in appetite or weight
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Social withdrawal
  • Lack of interest in previously enjoyable activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

so am i bipolar?i wouldn't know...i have 90 percents of the above symptoms..i dun have to tell which one..but i still need to see the doc for more accurate diagnosis...hehehe..

so is bipolar dangerous?well..it is if you dun know how to control it..but if you know what you have..its not life threating at all..

alrite then..im signing out...later..

damn f***ing fren...

ive been soo down this past 2 days..well not that anyone notice,coz i hide it..

this is due to a certain fren that just doesn't care about frenship anymore..or maybet this fren just hate me..

this fren ask for my help,than later i couldn't do the best to help this fren,and this fren told all the other fren about wat i did..

damn!im just too frustrated wit this fren rite now..well this fren don't know anything..and i hope it stay like that..

anyway..it's too damn tiring and too f***ing stress rite now to rite anything..maybe tomorrow i
rite something..daa

FESKUM

wats feskum?its short for..FESTIVAL KONVOKESYEN UM...

so come together and celebrate wit us!(mcm kenal je ayat nie..)

watever...just come down and visit our gerai geology..menus are included..kat gerai..

tats all for the post..need time writing something new..got geochem test..which is the 'faveret' subject so far..hahahaha

later...

who am i?

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?